Nothing escapes me more than a feeling of time moving at its own pace. Yet, the way in which time moves is purely based on my perception of it either moving fast or slow, or perhaps, not at all. Where ever I place my focus it has a bearing on how time moves around me.
Today is such a day.
I went outside and placed my energy into the task of cutting my lawns. I spent a few hours ensuring that I managed to tackle everything that I had set myself out to do and I completed the mission. I succeeded. This pleased me. There is nothing more satisfying than accomplishing a task and then looking back at it with a sense of relief that it is done and it is done well.
There is a truth in not having a sense of time when one is very focused on a task at hand. Time simply does not exist. I am aware that there is a space in which I exist in my mind, in my environment and in what I am doing now that ameliorates everything else around me, as if it were never there. What does this pose for me? How does this fit into how I perceive my reality of every day life?
I exist. I know my place. I know my environment. I know my reality defines how I move and interact with everything and everyone that I see or even how others see me. Now there is a thought. How do people see me? What is their experience of me? How does my identity define their interaction with me? What if I had no identity? How would people see me then?
Identity. What is it?
Identity is the individual personality or characteristics of a human being. Every person has their own identity and no two are the same. This is a general summary about what identity is. It is limiting though. As it suggests that identity is something that only “human beings” have. What about all other living things? Do they not have “identity?”
For me, if I have to try to understand what “identity” is it comes down to one simple thing…Existence. All things that exist as we know it, have an “identity.” I cannot single it out to just one thing. That would be superfluously arrogant of me. In my view, “identity” is a universal trade mark.
In all essence we are the sum of all things and more. Time exists because it was born from a singular moment of the big bang. The speed in which time moves is a constant along the line of the universal splay. How we use time is a variable in our interaction with it. Before the big bang, time did not exist, there was no movement, there was nothing solid that moved forward from a point at which it began.
My thoughts govern my time, and my actions follow my thoughts, and in action I know that I am moving in time, even if time escapes me.