What you seek, is seeking you.

It goes without say that reaching mid-life, enforces a new interpretation of how we see and experience the world around us.

I had a discussion with a friend last night and it became clear that we seem to be experiencing the same unrepresented feelings in our day-to-day lives.  We both agreed that we have reached a strange plateau in which we don’t seem to feel excited about any thing, any more.  This isn’t a good thing!

We observed that we’ve both had similar life experiences.  We were once married, had children, worked and kept working, and now we are living a very routine life in which we work, come home, work, home, work, home – you get the drift, and then there is the occasional out somewhere with a group of friends – which is fun, and lasts the night, and it seems odd that at this point in our lives, the excitement, inspiration, motivation and the looking forward to “something” appears to be non-existent.  Why is it so?  Where did the joyful feelings of life and all that it represents, go?

Meanwhile, no matter what angle we look at this, we’ve no answers.  Is it the norm to feel empty inside when reaching mid-life, or is this simply what is classified as a “mid-life crisis?” Don’t get me wrong though.  We are women in our own right, both divorced, and blessed with good health, family, friends, a home and all sorts of every day things, and with all that we have and are blessed with, we feel empty? WTF? Why is it so?

Then it was blatantly obvious that the reason we feel empty inside is that we don’t have a significant other to love or to be loved by.  No matter how we looked at it, the one thing that we both lack in our lives is the love of a good and honest “man.”  So basic.  So simple.  We ask, “Is this the ‘only’ reason?”  We are aware that it is a basic part of human existence.  We are all beings that seek out the companionship and love of another, and it’s not about “need” but more about being part of the human “condition” the human race.

Regardless, we both don’t want to find a man from any dating sites.  We have tried those and it just didn’t work out.  Pubs? Nah.  Who wants a drunkard? Not me.  Waiting for nature to take its course can be like watching paint dry.  It will dry up, eventually.



10 thoughts on “What you seek, is seeking you.

  1. I feel for you kid………… I like my own company but I can say that because i have someone to share life with, and that’s the thing isn’t it? Stuff is just more fun if there is someone to share it with, especially if they feel towards you the way you feel towards them. Someone once told me that we always meet our soul mate but we must be aware and grab the opportunity. I look forward to you posting the details of this meeting.


  2. Gina, have you been spying on me? I feel like I just read here exactly what I’m going through. I’ve been divorced for nearly 18 years. And in that time I’ve dated a few, mostly in those first few years. For one reason or another they didn’t work out. Then I went through a long time of not dating. Well, I feel like there’s a force greater than me at work. The one that taught me independence and feels I can handle being on my own. For I dated recently–and we met the old fashioned way–in person, by chance. Yet after a few weeks, it fizzled. What am I doing to chase these men away? I don’t know. Will I ever get a lucky break? The world created more women than men, and I think some of us are destined to go through life solo. Oh and I signed up for TWO dating sites and hate it. I don’t like that any success is first dependent on what you look like and what your age is. I’ve been happy independent and maybe the universe wants me to stay that way. No happily ever after’s with that special someone, here. There’s an old ballad and I feel like it was written just for me: “They’re writing songs of love but not for me…” And so on.


    1. Monica! I swear I replied to you. Where did my reply go? I think that most women and men are going through similar experiences. Thing is. Will msn and woman meet? lol


  3. From a dude’s perspective, i totally understand what you’re saying on a lot of what you said. It sucks not to love and be loved by a significant other. And I completely relate about finding people on dating sites and bars (or pubs, in your case). Not my cup of tea either… But have no fear Miss Gina. I’m a firm believer of the fact that there’s someone for everyone in this world, and I’m sure you’ll have that special person in no time. Cliche as it sounds, things always have a way of working itself out. It just takes time and patience. =) great post! Keep your chin up, style advisor! =)


  4. I know what you mean about dating websites. I haven’t tried that myself but some of my friends have, I can only think of one of my friends who this worked out for. Most of my friends say that men on these sites have an unrealistic view of themselves :-). Work is a great place to meet people, I met my man at work, although we didn’t get together until I left the company we both worked for. You sound like a nice, articulate, bright woman, so hey, I’m sure you have a head start! Hope you find someone amazing.
    Jane x


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